Culture Shock: Asian Vs. American

In my everyday life, I often found myself torn between two cultures. Even though I was born in America, I don't necessarily act like my ABC (American Born Chinese) friends. The reason being that I was raised by my aunt in Shanghai, China from when I was a infant to eight years old because my parents couldn't find anyone to take care of me here in New York. My parents were the first ones from their family to get here so they didn't know any friends or relatives who they can depend on to help them get readjusted to this new place. They had to look after themselves and struggle everyday to make ends meet so at the time they've decided to fly me back to China until they've settled down here in America. I returned to America not until I was 8 years old. My parents wanted me to start school right away because I'm already way behind everyone else. However, it was almost impossible for me because I didn't even know the basics of English: the alphabet. My parents who had trouble speaking and writing in English themselves tried to teach me everything they've learned over the years. It was a painful process but after a few months of home schooling I was pretty confident I was ready to be enrolled in one of the public schools. I was wrong.

As soon as I started, I was made fun of by other students for my strong accent. Also American education system is completely different from China's. For one thing, teachers in China don't really encourage students to participate in the class. Students aren't allowed to contradict the teacher even if to correct a mistake because it is assumed that teachers are always right. Students who talks back to the teacher are considered being disrespectful and undermining the teachers authority. When I first got here, I was surprised at how teachers actually encourage participation from the students and how receptive they're to students feedbacks. I still remember how astounded I was when one of my classmates corrected our math teacher on the calculation mistake he made on the board. Instead of being asked to leave the class which would have been the case in China, the teacher thanked him for pointing out the mistake! That was when I realized that I was no longer in China. Another difference I've noticed is that parents in America rely more on positive rather than negative reinforcements. Most of my friend's parents reward them for getting a good grade on the exam or doing chores around the house. You rarely see that in Asian households. There is no such thing as allowances or getting rewarded for positive behaviors. In order to avoid getting scolded or punished by the parents, things like chores or doing well in school became a obligation. Overtime, they're a part of life.

Since birth we were taught to respect our elders in China. People who are older have accumulated a lifetime of experience and that makes them wiser. In fact age also signifies knowledge. Therefore most famous scholars are middle aged. This is another reason why in a family parents don't really respect their children when they provide any sort of information or attempt to voice their opinion on a certain issue. The assumption here is that parents are older, they've lived many more years than their children so there's nothing they can learn from their children. In the American culture, the generation gap is blurred. Children addressed their parents by their names which is considered extremely disrespectful in China. Parents are also open to any feedbacks or opinions from their children. In general, there's a respect for individual regardless of age.

Lastly, I've also noticed a big difference in food preparations for both cultures. For instance, food preparations usually takes a lot longer in China than in America. It takes my mom two hours to prepare dinner. Cooking starts with gathering and washing all ingredients then there's a matter of choosing the various preparation methods like stir frying, stewing, roasting, steaming and etc. The total preparation time also includes getting the rice and soup ready. In America, people prefer simple meals. That is why supermarkets sells all sorts of frozen, prepackaged meals. Markets in China focused more on selling the ingredients needed to make a variety of dishes.

This is some of the differences I've noticed between these two cultures. I don't define myself in either one of the culture but rather both of them. Unfortunately, under many circumstances they tend to clash.